LAST NIGHT;

fuckin sucked ass !! who the fuck gets TOO TIRED for that like seriously wtf man ! aha idk anymore .

tonight was suppose to make up for it and have a movie night butt that didnt happen whatta fuckin shocker huh... yea right ! i thought he was serious when he said "i got you today..." uhm yea buddy wtf hapened to that then he starts trippin off of ME cuz i got kinda mad cuz i told him straight up about it wtf i do everythin wrong it seems with him. now im at home ALONE my brothers ended up leaving again for the night &my wife went to hang out with someone for the night &i was suppose to spend my night with my BOYFRIEND but he was too tired AMAZING huh. real shit, what kinda boyfriend doesnt wanna spend time alone with theyre girl ? like if you havent seen them all fuckin day or talked to them ... i think we argued more times today then we did laughing with eachother. i seriously dont even know what the fuck to do ! im trying i swear to god i am but its hard when hes not it feels like we're going back DOWNhill again :/ &it sucks sooo bad i try my hardest to make things right and not fight as much but how when he complains about everything i do if i disagree "im trippin" if i say no "im mad" if im quite "im brazy/weird" excuse me??.... so pretty much if im not loud saying yes or agreeing with him its all good... all i want is for both of us to be happy and i honestly dont even know what makes him happy anymore :/ i always have a bad feeling about us when we start fightin and it just brings back memories &i think thats why we go on and on arguing becuhz we get to into it and start bringing more shit up about everything else and as we go on it builds up so we keep going on with the fight. for once i want him to tell me wtfs on his mind or what he still thinks about us. im hella confused now like he thinks the total oposite of whats really the issue . i want him to LISTEN to me when im tellin him whats wrong i want him to tell whats gna happen not just wat i wanna here. im tired of being mad honestly hes the ONE person i hate being mad at and argue with cuz at the same time i just wanna be with him and hold him but come on i got my needs too just like he got his when i want something i expect him to atleast TRY and give it to me . DEEP down inside right now im happy like idk how to explain it seems like the only way to get his attention or something i have to be mad ! but im not as mad as he thinks i am ima happy girl who just wants respect, love, someone to be there when i need them, and a bf thats in love with me. i feel sick to my stomach right now talkin/thinkin bout us not talkin anymore. love sucks ! cuz it make you go CRAZY ! aha real shit it does . &then on top of everything his cousin over sayin you wanna be with a girl like that?! wtf i never done anything to her! &a girl like what?! seriously i would like to know like what today i didnt to shit cuz i have respect for him &his family so i didnt even wanna start shit with her there so a girl like me? wow people should really think about who theyre talkin bout cuz if she perfers a girl like; her hoe ass friend to be with him then she should take a second look cuz i coulda sworn that that girl sent NAKED pictures to him the first week of them talkin, talked shit to ME and MY FAMILY talkin bout this is SKYLINE ahaha. , and tryna fuck him..then yea shes right cuz shes NOTHIN like me i have more self respect for myself and mature bout my shit.

ANYWAYS;

i dont feel good at all right now i think ima clean up the dinner i made for him and the mess in the kitchen take medicine then go to sleep . TOMORROW is HOME COMING im not that excited for it anymore :/ i kinda dont even wanna go :( i should be so happy and excited about it but idk im just crying &i DONT cry for noone or nothing cuz its gets me nowhere but it happeneds &no im not on my period im just letting everything out right now cuz noones here and i got noone to talk too! its gna be weird tomorrow i wonder if hes even gna talk to me first or if ima have to step up like always and handle this shit on my own...
goodnight ima be on here tomorrow. FUCK MY WEEK so far ahaha LATERhaters.